In the 21st century US pet owning household, 48.2 percent recognize their pets as
companions and 49.7 % as family members.
(Phil Arkow & Anna Melbin, Practical Strategies for Serving with
pets NCADV Conference July 24, 2012 - http://www.ncadv.org/files/2012%20Tuesday,%20July%2024th%201015am%20to%20Noon.pdf) As pets become more deeply valued
members of our human family dynamic, conflicts involving their place, care and
conduct will become a more frequent reality as well. What happens if your dog is a nuisance barker? What happens if the neighbor’s dog
bites you? What if you need your dog for everyday survival and you live in a
pet free building? How do you cope
in divorce with the thought you may never see your pet again? How does one cope
with these issues and many more conflicts that arise involving pets, while
remaining friends with a neighbors, ex-spouse, non-dog owning friends, building
residents and management?
Well, you can always sue, be sued or suffer in silence. None of which provide a very
satisfactory outcome for the continued relationship of the people or pets
involved. However, there is an
old, now new again, approach to addressing conflict which has successfully been
applied in the most difficult of pet disputes and helped the parties find a
workable solution. It is called
Mediation. A process documented in
the bible yet applied now with 21st Century twist. Instead of both sides telling a 3rd
party the problem and having that person decide the outcome, 21st
Century mediation relies on the parties working together to resolve the
disagreement. Mediation addresses
the conflict it doesn’t avoiding it.
It is not the ‘lets have someone else decide for us’ process. That is left to arbitrators in
arbitration and judges in litigation.
In mediation it is all about the people, pets and emotion underpinning
the conflict. Isn’t that in line
with where you may want to be anyway?
There are other forms of what is commonly referred to as
alternative dispute resolution (ADR).
Besides mediation, there is collaborative process and negotiation. Mediation provides one neutral person
helping the parties in conflict have that ‘oh so difficult’ conversation fully,
safely and confidentially. You can
bring an attorney along or go it alone.
Collaborative process brings a collaborative attorney, who has agreed to
help you resolve this conflict without going to litigation, on board a mediation
type process. Negotiation has
someone else, usually the attorneys, shuttling between the conflicting parties
delivering bottom line offers until an agreement is reached. You can always litigate if these
methods fail. Only in collaborative
do you need to find new representation if resolution fails.
These process proceeds by agreement of the parties. They are voluntary, you can leave at
anytime if the power balances in discussions seem off or, in the case of
mediation the neutral seems bias.
In good mediation and collaborative processes the mediator or
collaborative attorney is able to guide the parties to engage, have a
conversation and find the common ground from which to forge a resolution. In conflict we often look at only the
things on which we disagree. In
mediation and collaborative practice we examine where you agree and work back
to the disagreement.
As a model for conflict resolution, mediation and
collaborative practice meet the needs of pet owners who want to resolve conflicts
in less time, for less cost, while retaining a relationship going forward. It is much better for all the parties
involved if they are able to say good morning each day, share custody of your
beloved pet, or continue your relationship in the dog park, vet office,
groomer, kennel and the list goes on.
Often disagreements begin with misunderstandings that escalate into
feuds. Mediation and Collaborative process provide you with the opportunity to
stop and listen in a supported way.
You don’t go it alone. In
the end you can recover the relationships you should and move on from the ones
you may need to leave behind.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please do not post your business services on Hamilton Law and Mediation Blog. Thank you.